I Was Blind But Now I See

Poetry

“I was blind but now I see”
how occasionally
words are a sea
of unfulfilled desires
for hopeless writers
bedtime stories
carelessly scattered
into the pages of my diarium

“I was blind but now I see”
that I’m just another
undercover lover
trying to rediscover
my own heart
while holding on
hoping not to drown
in this ocean
of false devotion

“I was blind but now I see”
that I’m just a humble Queen
but in this dream
in this one dream
I’m just a figurine
hidden in your pocket
a keepsake
you only take out
on a cigarette break

I See You

Poetry

I have moments when I forget
what it’s like to be cared for
persuasive thoughts
race through
every crevice of my mind
convincing me
that I’m not letting anyone in
for a really long time

Then he comes along
and he disarms with his charm
he knows before I know
like the weatherman knows
when the storm comes

His glance shouts
“I see you”
this is the time to be brave
don’t be a slave
to your own fear
this is a good year
for good love

Faint Hearted

Poetry

I search for words
But I’m lost
Thoughts squandered
In a Black Sea
Of some third world country
I’m standing on top of Everest
Feeling acrophobic
I desperately want you to know
But I’m afraid
If you knew what goes on in my brain
You’d call an ambulance
My hands shake in despair
My heart palpitates
And I can’t breathe the hot air
I’m scared

The Secret Plan

Poetry

You think I’m unaware
Of your wounded nature
Your coveted portraiture
Arousing my creativity
You think I’m incognizant
Of your nostalgic condition
You think I don’t see
The same things I see in me
My intuitive recognition of you
A familiar similitude
Well attuned for the ingenuous
Kill or be killed
Was my way to feel fulfilled
A game I could not master
A disastrous disaster
And you
You build glaciers around your heart
And I still call it a fine art
You see
I know your secret plan
I invented it
I just couldn’t commit to it
Because love doesn’t grow strong
If we’re singing the same sad song

Dear Dad

Poetry

The first time you ran me over
I was 8 years old
Wearing a blindfold
Didn’t know to look both ways
I was helpless
Standing there sideways
Those scars became my game
Retained them to be
Something I did not foresee
My companion for a lifetime
Hated what I had become
A series of collisions
Crash
Smash
Blows to the heart
Black art I could do without
And then finally
30 years later
I became my own facilitator
Slowly
I decided it was time
To proclaim what is mine
A brand new creator of love
I put away those boxing gloves
And now when I look in the mirror
These ugly scars start to disappear

No Resolutions

Poetry

I’m not a big fan
Of New Year’s resolutions
I’d rather plan on real solutions
Commitments that help me grow
Without resistance
You see
I want to be better than yesterday
Without the cliché
And not because it’s a New Year
But because I can engineer
My own happiness
A peaceful facility
Achieved only by me
By watering this love tree
Daily
Even on the days it rains
I don’t fear the hurricane
No matter what, it’s meant to grow
Especially through all the snow
Resolutions don’t tend to stick
They disappear real quick
I’d rather give myself a promise
To always be honest
Kind, loving and forgiving
Believing in what’s meant for me
Sharing the master-key
To my own heart
Even if it means that I may fall apart
Cuz at the end of the day
It’s gonna be OK
The sun sets and rises
Even through the crises
I’ll take it though
Cuz as long as I water the tree
I’ll grow.

The Brief Self Portrait

Poetry

You are told you’re beautiful
You have a copious heart
Embarked
To always feel
You have brown eyes
You’ve been told they humanize
Even the coldest hearts
You have dark rings under your eyes
From not sleeping
From cries that arise unexpectedly
Showing vulnerability
When you’d rather show stability
Your hair is soft and curly
Some call it, unfairly beautiful
But you think they’re delusional
You have passion
It is much deeper than you imagine
You express yourself through art
Unintentionally
Showing your aching heart
Conflicted
Yet connected
They say it’s so creative
And sometimes blue
They wonder how you make it through
You struggle though
You want to grow
But find it hard to let it flow
Yet all these things
They see in you
Are all the things
That make you, you.

 

Sandman

Poetry

Mind racing
Unresting thoughts
My stomach all tied up in knots
Up all night again
Listening to the rain falling
One drop at a time
Watching the clock
Tick tock
It’s half past three
I need to close my eyes
I need to feel free
Relax
Let it all go
Give it all up
Throw the white flag up
No need to worry
Over things that are so blurry
But how
When this conflicted heart
Tends to fall apart
Crumble and crack
Every time it bounces back
So now what
How long will this take
I’m tired of being awake
Tossing and turning
Can’t seem to catch a break
Where is the Sandman
I’ve always been a fan
Of his medical plan

Who Is Santa?

Lifestyle

There is still so much good in this world, people just don’t see it. We all are capable in doing Santa’s work. There is no one, single Santa in my opinion. We may be the people who fill our kids stockings and put presents under the tree just as our parents did for us, and their parents did for them but this could never make us Santa. Santa is lots of people who keep the Christmas spirit alive and that’s what I will tell my daughter when she asks or starts to doubt Santa.  Santa is bigger than any one person. What he does is simple but powerful. In my opinion it teaches children how to believe in something they can’t see or touch. Throughout life children will need this to believe in themselves in their friends in their talents, in their family or even in the things they can’t measure or hold in the palm of their hand – like love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out even in the darkest coldest moments.

It’s really all about the magic of Christmas in our hearts.

Her Christmas Wish

Poetry

This year at Christmas
You are growing and learning
About forgiveness
About love and caring
And family sharing
There is no thirst
Or overrated excitement
For Santa’s giveaway
On Christmas Day
You only asked for just one thing
My aching heart
It’s everything
To the heart of the innocent
Makes me feel ambivalent
Yet hopeful
To fulfill doubtful things
Unceasingly
Pulling at my heartstrings
I promise you though
I’ll do my best
I’ll try my hardest
To fulfill your request